does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
