HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize