just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
