I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
