Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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