There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
