You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
