We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
