Duck Duck Cougar?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
