On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I just sharted jello shots
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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