I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
