How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
