its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
