I wish my penis had an off switch
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
