Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't deserve a penis
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize