but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
