you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
