i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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