If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
not ubering you a puppy
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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