lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the liver wants what the liver wants
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
