This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Green mimosas i think yes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
