Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
