Got a toothbrush?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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