I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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