I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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