So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
