I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
