thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
