I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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