just come out here and I will go home with you...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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