Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize