i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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