scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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