Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
