Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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