UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
