I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
