He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
