i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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