I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize