On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
