you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
