I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize