Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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