The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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