He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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