I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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