i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
