I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
