Yo dont text me then not text me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
