Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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