Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize