the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i need to put some appletini on your dick
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
