I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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