The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
