babies were throwing up all over the place
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
