Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
