He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
