can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
