Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
